One of the things I love about baby signs

I love how it helps my babies communicate younger, and how it leads to less stress, and how it helps them make new brain connections and sharpen motor skills.

But moments like the one I just had make it so special. My sweet 9 month old boy. I was nursing him. These days he just wants to be mobile, and breastfeeding isn't always such a sweet tender experience anymore. It's often full of him struggling to crawl away, then coming back for a quick couple of gulps before escaping again. He rolls away and pulls himself up to stand, all while latched on. Which isn't comfortable! He's hyper and keen to keep moving.

But he had one of those rare moments where he was sleepy and was taking his milk quite seriously. He was gazing up at me with grateful eyes while he guzzled away, and I beamed back down at him. Then, without breaking eye contact, he took his chubby little hand and started to open and close it, to sign for milk. Usually he does this sign when he is asking for milk. But this time I took it to mean, "Thank you for this milk mum. It's delicious".

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Babies just grow

So, I've mentioned before that we're trying a container garden this year, in addition to our allotment for growing in the ground.

I've been reading about all the things that can go wrong, and have observed through trial and error many ways NOT to do things. So far most of my seedlings are doing ok and a bunch of them are in their new homes, in larger containers. I've also had a few sad losses along the way.

It is labor intensive. I have the grow light running, I'm checking for moisture and hand picking bugs ever day, I'm picking out grass growing where we don't want it to grow (D'oh, I put hay in the composter. It obviously had grass seeds. Ugh.), I'm training plants to grow certain ways, rotating containers when they lean towards the sun, so their roots will strengthen. It's a lot of work.

A couple weeks back I walked into Kaya's room. She rarely opens her blinds, and her room is rather dark. She had this pot in her room, which had sat outside all winter after a tomato plant died in it and we hadn't cleaned it out or sterilized the soil. The soil was compacted inside, and very dry. It hadn't been watered. But Kaya had stuck an avacado seed inside. From a fruit we had bought at the grocery store, she kept it, I think soaked it for a day or so, then stuck it in this pot. It sat, dry. In the dark. And it grew.



It's looking beautiful now. And I must admit I've been quite amazed that out of such a dire looking environment, something beautiful can grow.



And it got me thinking about how somehow food has always grown, with or without the farmer. God designed nature such that it will reproduce, it will grow. We may have found ways to dabble with it and stick our hands in and make it produce more than it would naturally, or with a more desirable product (but sometimes with consequence or high cost), but it will grow without us.


And it reminded me of something I was told back in 2001, when I was a brand new, full of pride and joy and nerves and fear, mother of my first newborn daughter. I so wanted to be the best for her, but I really didn't know what I was doing. or I assumed I didn't. I took her faithfully to the mother and baby clinic, every single week, to be weighed. Because that's what you're supposed to do, right? To be a good mum....right?

One week my health visitor smiled at me and said, "You are absolutely welcome to come here every week, but you know you don't have to. Your baby is thriving. The weigh ins are more for bottle fed infants, but Heather knows how to get exactly what she needs from you when she breastfeeds. The weigh ins are not necessary. Babies just grow."


After my Dr bashing Dr Knows Breast post last week, I want to readdress the balance a little by telling you a little about Ruth Astbury.


I don't have a photo of her so I made this from the way I remember her looking

Back in the UK, instead of going to a pediatrician for unwanted advice health related parenting issues, we had a Health Visitor. In the early newborn weeks she visits you at home. I had many friends who complained much about their Health Visitor. But I got a gem. My HV, Ruth Astbury, was the best I could dream of. In fact, we nominated her for a Health Visitor of the Year award once and she got runner up (but for some reason she won a train set and I was given money! I felt bad about that..), but she deserved first place.

She claims she was "just doing [her] job" but I believe she went over and above the call of duty. When I came to her, an insecure, new parent, she taught me to trust my instincts. That is THE single most valuable lesson anyone can teach a new mother. I'd ask her a question, expecting to be hand held and institutionalized, and thinking that was right, and she'd answer me by asking, "what does your gut tell you?"

Honestly, I can't express how on-top-of-the-world that made me feel. That this professional was going to trust me; a naive, inexperienced 20 year old new mum, to make my own decisions regarding the care of my child. Because she believed I had it in me. Because she believes in mothers.

And it changed my path entirely. To me, attachment parenting is all about going with your gut. It's not about wearing a sling, or feeding your kids granola, or wearing a t-shirt that says "got milk?" across the boob area. It's about going with your gut. Trusting that God gave you maternal instincts which are sufficient to raise your children successfully. No matter what the books say. No matter what your peers say, or even the well meaning pediatrician. Mommy knows best.

Ruth was introduced to me, by my Dr, as a "breastfeeding expert". And she gave me invaluable advice. Things which are now considered up and coming techniques, she has been preaching since forever ago. She first told me about squirting breastmilk in an eye to clear up an infection. She encouraged maternal nutrition in the most compassionate, non-condescending way.

When Heather died, she came to our home, for MONTHS, to listen to us talk and cry and work through issues. She happened to be a Christian, and was an incredible source of spiritual support also.

She's the most humble, sweet lady. And she does an incredible work, on a one by one basis, encouraging mothers that they are able to be everything their child needs. That's a message so many need to be reminded of.

She gave me a gift of confidence. I don't believe I'd be who I am today without her influence and encouragement. I'd have gone down a much more mainstream path, and would probably have continued to feel insecure and inadequate, as I sort of default to that.


What I'm trying to say is (besides THANK YOU to Ruth), mothers out there, kudos and more power to you. You're playing a very important roll. Try not to sweat the small stuff...babies just grow. Look deep inside and you'll see you have everything your child needs, already built in. God is very clever that way.

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Dr knows breast

Have you ever been given unwanted advice, and tried to smile and politely ask to pass the bean dip? Unwanted advice can be as annoying as an obnoxious bloke playing Come On Ilene continually on the duke box while you're out on what was supposed to be a romantic date (do rah do rah yeah). So this advice comes at you, unrequested, just when you were moseying along quite fine by yourself...I hope at the very least that the advice is good.



Photo by Alaa Hamed @ sxc.hu

We should expect that the medical profession is all about encouraging breastfeeding....right? Especially considering all the health benefits associated with breastfeeding. It's natural to assume then that Drs, nurses, lactation consultants, pediatricians etc. should be all up to date with the latest and greatest breastfeeding information and advice....right?

Unfortunately, I have spoken with many women who feel they are not receiving good advice or encouragement from such professionals. I'm not trying to start a Dr bashing session here, as there are many wonderful health professionals who do an excellent work of promoting breastfeeding. Unfortunately, there is also a lot of bad advice going around. The worst thing is, we often find those in the medical profession to be intimidating and it can be difficult to overcome breastfeeding problems when we are faced with bad advice from those who should know better.

I think we need to address this issue; more breastfeeding education for Drs would be a fantastic start. To try to stop women hearing things like this:



Sarah: "With my first daughter; I had/have flat nipples and the "lactation nurse" took one look and informed me that I would never be able to nurse. I so wanted to go find that woman later, when I was tandem nursing."


Jane was asked how many ounces of breastmilk her baby was drinking at each feeding. She told the nurse that it was the oddest thing, but her breasts didn't come with ounce markings



Taylor: "When I first tried to breastfeed my son in the hospital, I was told by a nurse that I was too young to be able to produce milk, and that there was no point in trying. When I insisted on trying anyway, she rolled her eyes, stood there for a minute, and when I got him latched on (with my mom's help), she sighed, said, "Looks close enough" and walked out of the room."



Mary: "When Timmy was about 4 months old, I got a nasty case of mastitis, and called my doctor to get a prescription and the nurse who talked to me on the phone told me to make absolutely certain I DIDN'T nurse on that side at all until I'd seen the doctor and been on a prescription. I nursed anyway and told the doctor she needed to correct whoever was on the phone."



Barbara took her sick daughter in to see the Dr. The doctor sternly told her she had to stop nursing immediately, that it was the breastmilk which was causing her daughter's illness.
Turns out, her baby actually had a blocked intestine caused by the rotivirus vaccine which was later taken off the market.
She didn't stop nursing, they somehow figured it out, and her daughter is now perfectly fine.



Photo by Carin Araujo @ sxc.hu

Julie's lactation consultant volunteered some advice: "Don't ever let your 10-month-old fall asleep at the breast. I let my first child do that, but I was wiser by the time I had my second."
Julie replies, "this is my fourth child, and I know what works for my family. I'm here for a prescription, not parenting advice"




A new mom was told to try to estimate how much breastmilk her newborn baby was taking at each feed, and to make sure it was close to 3 oz.




Gladys: "The psychiatrist I saw there told me I was a "horrible, selfish mother" for taking anti-depressants while breastfeeding. She told me to immediately wean, or she would call DFACS and have them take my baby away. There was no benefit to breastfeeding over bottlefeeding, and I could hold her the same way and have the same bond."

Well, there's exactly what a new mother with postpartum depression needs to hear!



Hazel's pediatrician told her that he "required" all of the children he saw to be weaned by 12 months because they shouldn't be allowed to ever ask to nurse. He also told her that the nutrients in breastmilk couldn't compare to baby cereal once babies hit 4 months, and that Hazel's son would fail to thrive if she didn't give it to him.



Francis: "I was told to pump and dump when I had surgery at 2 days postpartum.
Just how do you dump a *drop* of colostrum??"




Karen's pediatrician said that if she couldn't pump 32 oz in one day, she wasn't producing enough breastmilk. She told him, "I thought pumping was not a good indicator of breastmilk production." He said, "That's the only way to tell if a baby is getting enough."

I told my midwife what he said, and she said, "What? 32 oz? Does he think you are a cow?"



Gwen's doctor told her that she needed to wean her baby, because her monthly cycles hadn't returned.



Katherine: "One of my nurses in the hospital where I birthed, when I asked for breastfeeding help, told me I couldn't nurse until my milk "came in." She didn't seem to understand that colostrum was all he needed. I just told her I'd figure it out myself. Thank goodness I'd done a lot of reading..."



Wendy: "When my son was 9 months I went into the ER with a severe bladder infection and the Doctor there gave me a prescription. When I asked if it was a kind safe for breast feeding he said rudely "No, you've already breast fed for 9 months, that's enough. There are no benefits to breastfeeding after 9 months."

After getting over the shock of his rudeness (and a good cry) I asked him to find me a prescription that was safe."




Diane was told that she must be mistaken, she couldn't be breastfeeding her son because he was adopted...there was just no way. She replied, "Hmmm...that's funny. I have been for 2 years and he is thriving."



When Bridget's second daughter was just born, the doctor suggested that she might not have milk yet and that she might need to give formula. (Has he never heard of a thing called colostrum?)



Lynn's Dr told her that all infants need to be weaned at 4 months.





Debbie: "When I got pregnant with Milly, Anna was just barely a year old and still nursing about 5 times a day and a few times overnight. The PA at the OB's office informed me that I HAD to have Anna weaned within a week, or Milly would not get the nutrition she needed in my womb."



Abby: "The Lactation Consultant at the hospital had me in tears because she said that if my 37 week twins (who didn't stay awake for anything very long) didn't nurse for more than 10 min, then I couldn't "count" that as a nursing session"



Lucy was directly asked if her daughter was drinking cows milk at her 15mo check-up . She said no, but that she still nursed a lot. The Dr replied, "Well, you should consider weaning her soon. You know there's no real benefit at this age - it's mostly just water by now."
(Strange how this incredible milk, packed with nutrients, magically turns into very white looking water when your baby turns 15 months.)



A woman brought her baby with digestive issues to the Dr. The doc didn't look into the mother's diet, just labeled the baby as "allergic to breast milk" and recommended she switch to formula.



Natalie: "I don't know what class the Postpartum nurses around here took, but they all think you should apply grape jelly to the nipple, to entice the baby to nurse."



Jill: "The dumbest 'professional" advice I got was to make sure I waited long enough between feeding to "refill".. What's sad I believed it"

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Sterilizers, breast pumps, bottles

It all feels so clinical.



When Peach was here, I don't think I ever expressed milk. When Kaya was a few months old I started expressing and freezing some. Partly because I just thought that's what nursing mothers were supposed to do. And partly because my Annabel Karmel recipes said to include breast milk in the purees.

In the end, I threw out tons of frozen milk that never got used, it just sat lonely in the freezer until it was past date. So by the time Lana got here, I didn't even bother expressing any milk. Nor for Zoe.

None of my babies have ever had a bottle, ever. It's all been milk directly from me. I've enjoyed it that way. It's simple, convenient, a bonding experience, on tap, sterile and at the perfect temperature. No measuring, mixing, freezing, storing or reheating.

But next Tuesday I'm going under general anesthetic to have all 4 wisdom teeth surgically removed, and after that I'll be on powerful painkillers. I've been told I'll need to "pump and dump" (express milk, then discard it) for at least 6 hours after the surgery.

So I've started building up a supply of milk for Daddy to feed to Turtle while I'm doped up. Yesterday, I worked hard at it and only got 1 oz. I guess I'm inexperienced. But today I tried pumping one side while Turtle fed from the other, then I swapped over. He's better at stimulating the let down. And that worked. I got 5 oz in like 10 minutes. So that went well. I'll need to do a bunch more.

I guess sterilizers, breast pumps and bottles are a good thing for situations like this. I still feel kind of sad, looking at the bottles that will be standing in for me. I'm thankful they're there, so I won't have to give him drug filled milk. But it still feels kind of sad.

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Breastfeeding in public

At 1.30 today, there will be a public hearing for bill LB 499 at Nebraska capitol building. You can watch it live here

If we get it passed, the new law would state,

"Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breast-feed her child in any public or private location where the mother is otherwise authorized to be."

Currently, there's nothing to stop a women from breastfeeding in public, but there's also no law to protect our rights.

My two cents worth on the topic (this is MY soapbox, remember); I think we need to have more exposure to breasts in their correct context - nourishing a baby/young child. Unfortunately, the only time most people see a boob these days, in America, is on the top magazine rack or a billboard in Florida, or an obnoxious Internet pop up. This is just reinforcing the suggestion that breasts are only for sexual pleasure and therefore feeding a baby with them is yucky or strange.

I disagree with the well intentioned folks who offer, "breastfeeding is a beautiful intimate experience between mother and child and should be kept discrete". Thanks for trying to be supportive, but it is not a private, intimate function. It's a practical way to nourish your offspring, and should not be considered more private than feeding the baby a bottle. Breastfeeding is a fantastic way to help our next generation to be healthy, lower the rates of obesity, and raise the IQ level. It's great for humanity. It's great for making our children feel secure and confident.

Sending us to the public bathroom to feed our babies (who in the heck wants to eat in there?) is only going to reduce the number of women willing to breastfeed, and at the same time, it will further reinforce the squeamish, sexualized taboo this culture has created about breasts. I think the more boobs we see, the merrier. It will help our daughters to grow up in a breastfeeding friendly environment, and to learn how to do it, so they won't feel so lost when they have their own babies and begin to feed them. It will help our sons have a healthy respect for the female body, as a nurturing, nourishing body and not just a sexual object.

If you're in Nebraska, why not write to your senator and let him know how you feel about this issue?


I make milk. What's your superpower?

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Earth friendly cleaning

This is not my photo, I grabbed it from the web cause I couldn't be bothered taking my own.

Ever since finding out that breastmilk contains toxins, because of all the chemicals in our environment , I've been trying to slowly reduce the amount of chemicals I'm exposing myself to. Zoe's not showing signs of giving up nursing, at 15 months old, plus I'm growing a baby in there, so that's double reason to try to keep the toxins at a low level.

I bought these laundry magnets and though I'm not 100% convinced they work...I am at least able to reduce the amount of detergent I'm using. The clothes are getting clean with just the magnets but they still smell bad sometimes. I only need about 1tbsp detergent per load and its working out pretty well.

And I've started making my own cleaning solution for cleaning kitchen/bathroom etc. It's made of vinegar, water, lavendar essential oil and tea tree oil. The vinegar cleans, the lavendar helps with the stink of the vinegar and the tea tree oil is a natural disinfectant.

It works fantastically well, I especially am pleased with how it cleans the floor. Instead of a big bucket of soapy water which ends up filthy, I'm just spraying the floor with the cleaning spray, then moping it with a damp sponge. The floor is shiny and not sticky. And I don't have to worry about nasty chemicals which are often more dangerous than the germs we're trying to clean with them!

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