Tuesday, March 12, 2013

How to take a nap, by Ally (2 years old)

I'm Ally (though as of late I occasionally prefer to be called Alasdair, which I pronounce Ash-der because otherwise it's just too many syllables for my developing mouth. I do tend to alternate between which name I favor and I like to kick up a bit of a fuss if you don't correctly anticipate which is my current choice, and I am fully within my rights to do so because I am two years old and being fickle comes with the territory). But I don't really need to introduce myself for I already did as much in my previous guest post which you can read here if you so wish.

My mum asked me to write another guest post and I was going to turn down the offer, since I really don't need the extra attention: I get more than enough of it around here. But when she mentioned the subject was naps, well I couldn't resist. After all, I am quite the expert on napping.

Naps are very important to a two year old. We have a lot of growing to do and new brain connections to make, plus dreaming aids us in our quest to make sense of all the new visions we take in on a daily basis. And frankly, living in such a big world is plain exhausting.

The problem is, we don't always *want* to nap, especially at whatever time our mothers decide we ought to be napping. If I figure out my mum is scheming to set me down to nap I will simply resist all her efforts, and I suggest you do the same. Naps are certainly important, as I stated above, but there are various activities competing for top priority, such as: scooting chairs around to stand on to reach those exciting things we only find on high shelves,  pulling out all the pots and pans from their designated places and scattering them all around, drawing scribbles on walls and lobbing shoes down the stairs (you haven't tried that? I recommend you do! It's highly satisfying to watch them tumble and bump, landing in ever random positions).

So my number one piece of advice with regards to taking a nap is:

Go, go, go, go, drop.

Just keep living life, exploring, learning, causing trouble, then whenever the urge to sleep and grow grabs you, simply drop, wherever you are, and have a nap. Don't waste time trying to communicate to your mother that you're tired, and don't bother trying to find your bed. Just succumb to the forces of sleep and drop on the spot.  Allow me to demonstrate with some examples. 

One day I had been trying to explore the dining table. I unplugged the floor lamp and was busy scooting chairs around. It was great fun. But suddenly, I felt compelled to rest, so down I went and took a few Zs. 


On another occasion I was playing with toys, then I wandered into the kitchen for something to do, but my train of thought was interrupted by a sudden need for sleep. I hit the deck and had a delightful snooze.

Of course, it's much more convenient if the urge should happen upon you while you are in a carpeted room, as I find those floors are much more suitable for soft slumber. In this instance I had been attempting to put on a baby carrier in order to wear a doll on my back but my efforts were interrupted by a short siesta.

But sometimes I prefer a firm surface to lie on, so I improvise with whatever's nearby

Just out of the bath and yet to be dressed? Don't let that stand in your way! 

If you wish to make it really epic, position yourself at the bottom of the stairs, disguised as Spiderman recently murdered by a sith. Your mother will have the fright of her life when she first spots the disturbing vision, but alas you'll sleep through her hysterical reaction.

Don't limit yourself to floors, convenient though they may be. This is a free country! Nap anywhere you want, 

On your baby sister's chair:

On the couch, with your jacket on:

Coloring at the table? Go, go, go, drop!

Eating at the table? Don't let it stop you.

You might want to carry a pillow around with you, you never know when it might come in handy.

If you insist on sleeping in a more traditional location, like a bed for example, I suggest you keep a remote control close at hand, in case you should wake up with a desire to watch Blues Clues.

In conclusion, napping is fun and essential for growth and balance, and it needn't affect your day to day operations. Just remember, Go, go, go, drop. And one final pearl of advise, if you want to have the best kind of nap possible...try napping with a sibling. Trust me, it's the best.

Brothers are pretty awesome to nap with.

Baby sisters might be even better. 

Mum wants me to add a disclaimer about how she makes sure to move us to a safe place to finish our slumber after taking cute pictures, but I don't think I need to mention that. She just worries too much about what people think of her (issues much?)

So there you have it. How to take a nap. I trust you've learned a lot and will have none less than the most wonderful excursions to the land of nod from now on. Thank you for listening. Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes.  


Lenore Webb said...

oh i need to take lessons.....great advice for all ages

lady mommy said...

hahaha this is great! Zachary can relate to fighting the nap :)