Some new photos of Glenn

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Me

Zoe is a handful sometimes, she's high maintenance and a mummy's girl for sure. I love the perspective this song takes. It truly is a blessing to be so needed. My hands are full in the best possible way.

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Proud Father

I'm so moved by this song. Rene is looking forward to teaching his son how to love selflessly and with his whole heart. He sets such a good example of it himself.

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Sisters

Nothing quite like this threesome.

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Munchie Box

I must admit, whilst I have been trying very hard to eat nutritiously, particularly since becoming vegetarian, I have occasionally missed the good old Scottish junk food which Rene and I used to practically live off of.

However, this recent article from the Scotsman reminded me just how terribly bad for us it was. And I feel rather nauseated right now from looking at it. Rene and I have enjoyed a munchie box or two in our day (although I never ate the donner meat even before I was veggie, cause I felt bad for the wee baby lambs, I'm such a softie). Kind of nasty to think about now.

"here comes the Munchy Box. A pizza box stuffed with as much as 2,200
calories-worth of assorted fast food has emerged as the latest lunchtime treat
for Scotland's schoolchildren.
The boxes sell for £4 to £5, can contain as
much as 150 grams of artery-clogging fat, and typically include doner meat,
chips, cheese, pakora and – if you're lucky – a token smattering of salad."

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Have I mentioned yet...

...how I'm completely in love with my baby boy??

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Family Adjustments

A few of you have asked how everyone is adjusting to the new little guy. So here's how we're doing..

Kaya had the potential to be most traumatized, since she actually saw him being born, which we hadn't prepared her for!

But she seems to be doing really well. I think she misses our old routine, and misses the attention, but I think she also realises this adjustment period is temporary and we'll settle back into homeschooling and things soon. She's mostly happy and loves to look at all the funny faces Turtle makes. She does have an occasional melt down where she thinks no one loves her (it's a girl thing) but we reassure her and she stops pouting and perks up. I think she's handling it all well. She says she wants 3 more brothers!

Lana is doing best of everyone!

If anything, her behaviour and attitude have improved since he came along. She seems to be thrilled to bits to have a baby brother. She plays happily and takes a healthy interest in him, then goes back to playing. She's enjoying having Daddy home to spend more time with him too.

Poor Zoe, this is a huge adjustment for her.

She was still the baby and very much the center of our world, and now she's having to shift over and make room for someone else. It's hard for her. She loves her little brother, she watches him sleep and pats him on his head or tummy and says "aw baby". She's incredibly gentle with him.

She's more teary than usual and has had a few melt downs. She definitely misses having one on one time with me. As soon as my hands are empty of baby, she jumps right in them. She was crying yesterday and sounded distraught and was saying "mummy, baby" :( Sounded like she was mourning over the whole thing. She tried to sit in my lap, right where he was sitting.

The fact that she is still nursing definitely helps. I'm able to nurse them together and she rubs him and it helps her accept him. And I can hand Glenn to his daddy and have some special time with just Zoe nursing and it helps her feel loved.

Overall, she is doing so very well. It's not easy for hr but she's coping so well. She's such a sweet little girl.

Daddy just loves having a boy. He thinks he has to learn sports now so he doesn't let his son down. He has a special little bond with Glenn. He's also loving having time with the girls just now while he's off work. He's been doing house work and spending loads of time playing with the girls. He's such a good dad and has so much patience with them.

Me? I just love every inch of my little man. He's a sweety. He doesn't sleep great at night like his big sister Zoe did, but I enjoy my special time with him in the night, while everyone else is asleep. We sit and play and talk and nurse. I love all his funny faces and expressions. He's a sweet little baby. I couldn't be happier.

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Meals on Wheels

I just wanted to end out a HUGE THANK YOU to my friend Stacy who so kindly brought us meals the past couple of days. Such yummy scrummy meals too. The casserole was soooo good and that peach pie, oh man we're going to be addicted now to those. You spoiled us rotten. Cookies, croissants and everything. As if we didn't already owe you enough! Thank you Stacy!

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Couple pics

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The Story

THE BACKGROUND INFO

I'm sure many of you were surprised to hear we had planned a homebirth. We kept quiet about it because we knew everyone wouldn't necessarily agree with our choice, and there was no point in opening it for debate. I dreamed of a homebirth, it was on my list of things to do before I die, it was something I desperately longed for - to have a birth experience where I felt in control, to bring a baby into the world in a peaceful, comfortable enviromnent, without intimidating people in white coats giving me orders.

Studies have proven planned homebirths to be as safe as, if not safer than hospital births.

For more info on homebirths and hospital births, I recommend watching The business of being born. It’s on netflix as a view immediately movie.

Late on in this pregnancy, Rene and I discussed and prayed about it and decided to go for a homebirth with a midwife. We were able to find a wonderful midwife who took us on under her care (she's amazing by the way!) and we had a back up Dr who agreed to deliver the baby at hospital if there was any emergency.

The rest of the pregnancy went well, baby seemed fine at every check up, all my tests came out clear and we excitedly anticipated the birth.

Then my due date came and went. No big deal, I had expected that. But as the days ticked on I did start to get nervous. I had given birth 4 times before and had pitocin induction every single one of those times. I had never gone into labor spontaneously before and was starting to worry that my body was just incapable of it. Maybe I was broken and just wasn't as good as all these women who are able to just start off labor without help.

We discussed the issue with our midwife and had a plan that if we hadn't had the baby by Monday, when I'd be 42 weeks, I'd go into hospital to be induced. I was devastated, but believed it was necessary. I prayed hard and cried a lot over the issue.


THE LABOR

Wednesday morning I felt crampy low down. I put it down to back ache, maybe something muscular. I couldn’t get comfortable all day in any position from this low crampy backache feeling.

Otherwise the day went on as normal. I was tired and grumpy and didn’t get much done. When Rene came home I went out and brought home subway for supper. I just didn’t feel like cooking. After we ate I felt the need to clean the house like crazy so we got to work. Laundry, vacuuming, scrubbing floors, cleaning the bathroom etc. When it was done I felt very satisfied and remember thinking to myself “good, I can have a baby in here now”.

We put the kids to bed and I started having some mild contractions. Nothing to get excited about, pretty much just the same kind I had been having for weeks already. Irregular, not sore, just little tightenings. Rene and I stayed up til 2am talking and playing cards and these tightenings continued, but again I wasn’t thinking much of it. In fact I went to bed discouraged that yet again another day had gone by and I wasn’t in labor.

I woke up at 4.10 am (Thursday) and my first thought was it must be morning and how sad I was that I hadn’t had the baby yet. Then quickly I realized the reason I was awake was I was having a heck of a contraction. Pretty tight and sore. Hmmm maybe this means something might be happening. I laid in bed and a few minutes later another one came, equally as strong. I got up to pee and had lots of bloody show and started feeling hopeful that maybe this is a sign of labor. I was in denial though that I already was in labor.

I went to the computer and typed in my pregnancy journal to the baby. I was talking about our plans for hospital induction and how sad I was about it, and while I typed I kept having to stop for contractions. At 5am I realized I was having a lot of these and maybe I should think about waking Rene. I felt guilty waking him if it wasn’t really labor, but they were pretty strong so I went ahead and got him.

He was very excited and got ready to phone the midwife. I stopped him and said no we can’t phone her and wake her at 5am! What if it’s not really labor and the contractions just stopped? They were sore when they came, but in between time I felt fine. I was still in denial. We agreed to just time them for a while and figure out if we think this is really it. 10 minutes and about 3 strong contractions later we figured we should call her.

Rene spoke with her first then she spoke with me. I had 2 contractions while speaking and I could talk through them, though it was hard. I kept telling her I wasn’t sure if this was really it and I wouldn’t want her coming all the way out to just have to go home again. So she said to drink a big glass of water and call again at 5.40 and we’ll see if things have picked up or not.

I downed the water and things started picking up very fast. I put on my praise music playlist and was singing and praising God for labor and praying that it wouldn’t stop, then when a contraction came I was breathing like I was blowing up a balloon through them. I quickly realized that this type of breathing was making me feel very tense and making it harder to cope with the pain. So I started humming through them instead. A loud, low tone kind of “Mmmmmmmmmmmmm” which helped a lot. It helped me feel somehow like I was controlling them or keeping them under me, whereas the crazy breathing made me feel like they were overwhelming me.

I asked Rene to start setting up the birth pool. I finally believed this was labor. And it was happening fast.

By 5.40 I had Rene call the midwife back and I told him I couldn’t talk this time but I wanted her to come through now! The girls were still sleeping and I was wondering when the best time would be to call our friends who were going to look after them during labor. I decided we’d probably wait until they were up at about 7.40 and ask if she could swing by on the way back from dropping her daughter at school.

Now I couldn’t find a position I was comfortable in. I tried the birthing ball, I tried sitting on the toilet (which I hated, it made things so much more intense and out of control feeling), I tried squatting, I tried walking. Nothing was comfortable. I got a little snappish with Rene and asked when he’d be finished setting up the pool because I needed him to do counter pressure on my back and be there for me. He was fidgeting with the gadgets trying to get the temperature just right. It actually didn’t take long to set up and fill, but it felt like forever to me.

Finally he finished and I had him do counter pressure with massage oil while I sat on the birth ball. It wasn’t very comfortable so I moved through to the couch and laid sort of on my tummy. By the time he got there and got ready to start counter pressure I yelled at him “Don’t do it, I don’t want it now”. I guess I was entering transition but I had no idea. I still thought I had a long time to go. Though these contractions hurt, they were NOTHING compared to the pitocin contractions. I was expecting this to take a while yet.

I had 2 contractions on the couch and then felt very nauseated. I asked Rene to bring me the sick bowl and I took it to the bathroom with me. I threw up a few times after the next contraction and felt all at once like I NEEDED to get in the birth pool. I didn’t know if I should wait for the midwife or not. So I told Rene to call her and ask if I can get in the water, and to tell her I threw up. I knew it was a sign of transition but I still didn’t believe I was in transition.

Next contraction he was on the phone and I yelled “I NEED TO GET IN THAT POOL!!!” He came off the phone and said I could get in. I had one more contraction on the way then I got in. It was about 6.30 am

Ah bliss. The water felt so comfortable. So much better than any of the positions I had tried to get in on dry land. I was happy and safe in there. Next contraction I felt a little pushy. Which completely took my by surprise. I told Rene to phone the midwife back again (just a few minutes after the last time he phoned) to tell her I felt pushy. He told her I felt like pushing and I corrected him “just a little bit, not a lot” which he conveyed to her. But then another one came and I was pushing. I couldn’t hold it back. Instead of the “mmmmmmmmmmmm” this time I was yelling “oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” very loudly. I sent Rene to get the video camera from the bedroom.

THE BIRTH

Kaya woke up and walked in the room and asked what was happening. I told her the baby was coming and I asked her to film it. She had not been prepared for this, as I had expected her to be at her friend’s house for the birth. But I felt at the time that she could handle it. She likes to have a job to do. She was so cool and calm the whole time, a total angel.

Next contraction I knew was it. I pushed with all my might, and made a grunting noise, while Kaya held the camera. The bag of waters burst and the head came out. Rene felt for a cord round the neck, but there was none so he sat back and let me do the rest. The next contraction came pretty much right on the tail of that one and out came the rest of the baby. I turned myself around and sat down in the pool and felt for where my baby was, I couldn’t see much in the water. I pulled my own baby straight out of the water and was ecstatic!

Baby didn’t cry right away. I don’t think he knew he had been born yet! It was so peaceful and calm and the water was warm, no bright lights or Drs sticking suctions down his mouth. He just looked around then tried to go back to sleep! I was a little worried that he hadn’t cried yet, but he was a purple color, not blue and I knew he was still getting oxygen from the placenta. It was only a few seconds (though it can feel much longer at the time) before he gave out a beautiful cry.

Then I looked down and saw he was a boy and couldn’t believe it! I declared “it’s a boy!” with total shock in my voice. I hadn’t prepared myself for a boy at all, I was so sure I was having a girl.

AFTERWARDS

Rene phoned the midwife right back and asked what we do now! I asked if we should get out of the water. I started bleeding shortly afterwards which made Rene panic, but I knew it was just a sign that the placenta would be coming soon. I tried to feed Glenn, but he was not very interested in feeding, he was still just sleepy and content.

So I got out of the pool and sat on the toilet, over a bowl, to catch the placenta in. Glenn was still attached to the cord, we got him a hat and had him covered with a towel, and I was just on cloud 9, talking about how perfect he is and how happy I was to have done this amazing thing. I got the shakes on the toilet and was cold, so Rene brought me a cover. Lana woke up and we introduced her to her baby brother! She was still sleepy and couldn’t quite take it in. But she said she needed the bathroom.

So I got up to let her pee, and as I stood there I delivered the placenta and Rene caught it in the bowl. He then went through and covered the bed with plastic sheeting and pads and I made my way over while holding Glenn, and Rene held the bowl with the placenta he was attached to. We got settled on the bed and I think this was when Zoe woke up. She was pretty silent and rather bewildered by this baby. She seemed happy though.

Then the midwife arrived. She was surprised to find us already in bed, not much mess anywhere, baby was not too cold and we were all just smiling and on cloud 9. She came helped Kaya cut the cord, which Kaya did great at! She was not squeamish at all about it. And she checked the baby over and he was fine. She listened to his heart and chest and checked his temperature and looked him over. His gestational age came out at about 42 weeks by the exam, so he really needed to come out when he did. I guess it was perfect timing.
She helped me have a shower and she weighed Glenn, and he was 9lb12 oz! I was surprised he was so big. Then baby and I had an herbal bath together and we got him all cleaned up.

She got us settled back in bed, checked me out and I was fine (just one small minor tear which I think has healed already) and when we were all happy and content she left. She’ll visit again to check on us later and we’re visiting the pediatrician on Monday for a baby check and his metabolic testing.

THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

This has been one of the most amazing experiences of my whole life. The labor was fast, 2.5 hours, but was not too intense, in fact it was a breeze compared to pitocin labors. I couldn’t believe I was ready to push because I thought I hadn’t even reached transition yet. It was a wonderful labor.

Pushing out my baby into the world, in comfortable warm water with my babies sleeping and my big girl and my husband at my side was just so serene and such an awakening experience. I am on such a birth high from it all, such a buzz, and I feel an incredible sense of accomplishment. It was a truly perfect experience. I wish I could do it all over again! I had lost faith in my body’s ability for a while and this certainly has restored it! I was also reminded to wait on God’s perfect timing and to have more faith in his design.

Snuggling up and recovering afterwards in my own bed, without hospital food and nurses walking in and out all the time is possibly the best part of the whole thing.

I’m a private person and birth is such a private and intimate experience. It felt so right to do this in my own home, without feeling like I had an audience to perform to. I could make whatever noises I wanted to and walk wherever I wanted, pace around the house as I wished. It just felt right.

I feel so complete now, with my baby boy in arms and this experience under my belt. I thank and praise God for answering our prayers and giving us the desire of our hearts.


PLUG

Nebraska has some strange and restrictive laws concerning midwifery. If you believe women should have more options and greater access to midwives please support Nebraska Friends of Midwives

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Photos

see photos of our little Turtle Pie here

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Announcing the arrival of

He was 11 days late but made up for it with a very speedy delivery. I had an incredible homebirth experience, it all went perfect. Baby is healthy, so am I. He's nursing well (can't believe I had a boy! so much for mother's intuition).

I'll post more about the birth story later. Got to rest and enjoy my babymoon now.

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Making applesauce

Kaya made a recipe book about how to make applesauce yesterday.

Then last night by chance our friend gave us a bunch of apples they had picked.

So we made applesauce together. Kaya got to help wash and chop the apples and even help stir them on the pot. She felt so grown up doing some of those jobs I don't usually let her do.

We froze some to make popsickles (applesauce popsicles are scrummy!)

Then for the best part - eating it. Mmmm.

But Lana had already fallen asleep (sideways) by that point. Oh well, there's plenty leftovers for later.

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Haircuts

Got the girls' hair cut today. Was overpriced by far, and you can't tell much difference with Kaya's or Lana,s and i don't like how they did Kaya's bangs. We'll go back to our favourite place next time.


It was Zoe's first hair cut and we saved some of her hair for her baby book, and they gave us a photo of her too. She did really well and sat very nice and still for the lady. She didn't look very amuzed though and wouldn't smile for the photo! She's cute as a button though with her bangs!



Here's the before pic:


And after:

And here's the one they took of Zoe. She looks so much like me when I was that age in this pic.

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Where's your mouth?

I haven't been updating much, partly because I can't be bothered sitting my butt at the puter much just now, and partly 'cause Lana's been a computer hog lately.

Anyway here's Zoe doing the classic baby trick of locating body parts. She was doing much better before I got the camera out of course.

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Happy due date to meeeee

I always anticipated seeing this day come and go, still with the Turtle in my tummy. I'm not really disappointed. I'm still enjoying this pregnancy, feeling the closeness and the kicks and feeling special knowing I'm growing my little baby.

Sure I'm getting tired, I can't sleep well at night or get comfortable, my pelvis hurts and walking around isn't so easy. I can't do as many fun things with the girls during the day, but we manage some activities. If Turtle decides to come today or tomorrow, I'd be thrilled. But if he/she holds out for another couple weeks or so, I'm happy enough with that too. I'd rather wait until he/she is good and ready.

It will be great to find out if we have a boy or girl baby, to see what they will look like, to put them in all these little darling clothes I've washed and folded, to use these little cute prefold diapers on their tiny little bottom. I'm excited about it all.

I'm the kind of person though who doesn't just love opening the Christmas present, but I love the days leading up to it, the anticipation, the excitement, knowing something special is going to happen soon. I want to just savor these last moments. Pregnancy is such a special time, and this one has gone by pretty quickly, and pretty painlessly. I've been quite lucky this time around. No huge health concerns, and the baby seems to be growing bang on target without issues. So no reason to rush. I'm not sending out an eviction notice quite just yet. :)

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Last few August pics

I know I've been late in getting the last few pics from August up on my smugmug account, but I finally got round to it.

The most recent ones are here

Here are some for those who can't be bothered looking at smugmug.

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Look Who's Driving

And no, not just Zoe. I thought that 39 and 1/2 weeks pregnant was a good time to go ahead and sit a drivers test. You know, cause I could do with the extra stress and all.



I've been to 4 Drivers Ed lessons, which went well, and though I had more which I'd paid for still booked, I realised I wouldn't have a chance to get them done before having the baby, and I though, heck why not go for the test. If I fail, no big deal, I'll consider this one a practise test.



The guy who was testing me was a grumpy old man who was very intimidating and rude. After the test I bawled my eyes out to Rene, I was shaking and felt like throwing up. I felt soooo upset. Rene was comforting me and then was surprised when I slipped into the conversation that I had actually passed! I sure wasn't behaving like I had passed. But I was intimidated and scared, not to mention hormonal, and the test was not a pleasant experience.



But, I have my licence now! I'm still pretty scared to drive and will be doing as little of it as possible, and it will be a while until we can get Rene a vehicle to get to work in so I can have the car during the day. But it's nice to know I can score it off the to do list. I'm a licenced driver now, something I thought I'd never accomplish. And it's wonderful to think of the freedoms this will grant us in future.

So yay! :

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Pica in Pregnancy

This is the third pregnancy where I have developed what I believe to be pica. I didn't seem to have the symptoms in my pregnancies with Heather or with Lana, but I did with Kaya and Zoe, and now again this time.

Pica is a craving for non food substances, like coal or dirt etc and can be due to an iron deficiency. Now I'm not craving to eat non food items, just to smell them. My iron levels were checked recently and are fine. I'm also eating nutritiously and balanced, so I don't really think I have a major lack in anything. But from the reading online I've done, the smell cravings I'm having can be related to pica. One thing's for certain, it's weird. Very weird.

With Kaya it was Shake 'n' vac. I NEEDED to smell that stuff. Escpecially the Glade Lilly of the Valley stuff. Oh gosh it was wonderful. I use to carry one aroudn with me, sniff it in the car. I'd pour it all over the carpet in the house and lie down on the floor and just inhale deeply. I'd stand in the aisle at tesco opening them and sniffing them and probably looking very strange.

With Zoe it was the vacuum.

I'd vacuum multiple times a day and I just loooooved smelling the dust inside getting all warm, and the electric smell. It would drive me crazy. I actually really craved dust, not really to eat, but to inhale. If I ever saw dust on the road, getting puffed around, or on tv or anything, I'd get all achy and frustrated, desperate to sort of roll around in it and breath it in. I know, I know, totally crazy.

I was also into cleaning products (not really the healthiest thing to sniff!) and air fresheners. I'd spray a thing of air freshener and just walk into the spray, breathing in as deep as I could.

This time around, it's pretty much all of the above. I love the vacuum, though not as obsessivly as I did with Zoe. I love the thought of dust again too. I use natural, homemade cleaning products now, and I do still enjoy the smell. And I have purchased a few extra air fresheners and carpet fresheners. I love the dusty musty smells of like the shoe and vacum closet, I usually HATE the smell of that closet. I do like getting close to the carpet or vacuum and breathing the natural dusty smells.

BUT, this time I have found something to really satisfy my cravings. Aromatherapy oils. I've always enjoyed them, but I'm enjoying them SO much this time around. I'm putting clary sage oil (mmm so fumey and so lovely and strong smelling) on a tissue and inhaling deeply and it smells glorious! (I didn't do it before being full term in pregnancy of course, as it can possibly stimulate contractions!). And I'm adding lavendar to baths and Rene's massaging me with jasmine. It all smells so wonderful, especially the clary sage. Everytime I get that craving to smell something strong, I just get my tissue and my little happy bottle of clary sage and mmmmm I'm in heaven.

I know when I'm not pregnant anymore I'll look back on this and think, woah, crazy. It's amazing how strong these cravings for smells can get. And I don't really know why I get them. I thought it was time to 'fess up about it publicly. I hope someone out there will still be my friend after reading it hehehe

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