First, a brag. Turtle is starting to say rudimentary versions of "mum", "bye", "what's that" and "more"
Zoe, I can't remember any specifics. She's mostly just been screaming this week rather than actually doing the civilized talking thing. (Going through a bit of a rough phase - please God, let it be a phase!)
But I did want to give instructions on how to speak Zoe.
HOW TO SPEAK ZOE
There are 2 main rules and 1 overwrite rule.
The 1st main rule:
Add "I fink" before you say something. Even if it's an objective statement, adding "I fink" pads out the sentence and makes you sound bigger.
For example. Don't just say, "we're going to the park", but rather, "I fink we're going to the park". Replace, "Dora is on the tv" with, "I fink Dora is on the tv".
If it doesn't quite fit in to the structure, be creative: "Wook at dat squishy bug" can be rearranged as such, "Wook. I fink dat's a squishy bug".
2nd main rule:
To make you sound more like a grown up, stick the word, "today" on the end of as many phrases and sentences as possible. Even if you don't actually understand what the word today means. It doesn't matter, it still sounds good.
For example, "I fink dat's the kitty, today", or, "I fink I can't find my shoes today", or "I fink I want some cereal today".
You're well on your way to talking just like Zoe! Now if the above two methods fail to make you sound like Zoe, there is one overwriting rule. It's all to do with intonation and volume. Any sentence you speak, especially if it's a request or demand, raise your voice increasingly until the end of the sentence is at a peak for volume (see Fig 1.1 below). This will take skill and practice to get as good as Zoe. But she practices a lot, many many times a day.
You've got to ration it out perfectly, so think about your sentence in advance of vocalizing it. It really is an art form. Start of soft, and smoothly increase volume in even increments, so that by your final word, you have reached peak decibel, and you're sure to get some sort of reaction. It's very effective, particularly when out in public somewhere with your mum, where she's feeling embarrassed or flustered.
So there you have it. You now know how to speak just like Zoe. Have fun rehearsing.
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