6 years ago today was the worst day of my life. In the wee hours of the morning my first born baby daughter slipped away in her sleep. We still don't know why she died, that's the nature of SIDS.
Today is a sad day. A painful day. A hard day. I hate the 9th November. At the same time though, I'm grateful to have these days where I can reconnect with my feelings and feel like I'm reconnecting with her. There's a healing in it.
And I love to be reminded of her. To remember those good times. Man they were good times. We were on cloud 9 when she was with us. Just as we've been with our other little girlies.
I am thankful for every tiny minute I had. I'm thankful for her smiles. I'm thankful for the time I spent just she and I, snuggling on the couch watching morning TV. I'm thankful for the cooing sounds she made. I'm thankful for the times she'd cry in the backseat of the car until I'd spin the little dangling window toy around and she'd watch it move and calm right down. I'm thankful for the way I changed through knowing her. I'm thankful for all her faces and expressions.
Here's a wee video of her. We had trouble capturing from the DVD, so this is the best quality we could get. This is her stretching after waking up. The video jerks and jumps a lot. Sorry.
3 comments:
She was so beautiful. So much of her sisters in her too. :-)
What a beautiful girl. My thoughts are with you.
I came to your blog to tell you that you won my tommee tippee giveaway but found myself so caught up reading about the daughter you lost. Such a tragedy. And I can't imagine what you've been through. It's strange though, I read several posts and it wasn't until I got to this very first one that I realized the day your daughter died, my son was born...well, 7 years later actually. I guess it's not that strange. I get so wrapped up in reading about things that I am so utterly, terrified of...I guess that's the strange part, really. I'm so sorry about your loss.
But, you did win my contest! Lol. If you could, contact me at nicole@ onelittlemister.com with your shipping info please ma'am.
Nicole
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