So we took her to a local place today, and they've given her a really short cut. It is sad to see it like a boy's hairstyle, but I really think it's the best cut for her. Should discourage the twisting, looks cute, and it looks less straggly and slightly fuller. It should look even fuller after a good wash and dry.
She was very good about it, seems to love it and especially loved the lolly pop.
Rene got his cut too, still long enough for a pony tail, just a few inches chopped off to make it shorter and neater.