Saturday, March 7, 2009

Rest In Peace "Sparky"

It turns out Neddy, our mommy bunny, actually had 4 kittens, not 3 as we previously thought. She seems like a wonderful mommy, but the cage is just not good enough, and whenever we go in and check, there seem to be baby bunnies on the floor. They manage to escape through the gaps in the bars.

I've been losing sleep over these bunnies, and praying for their lives. They are so precious and we are so in love with them.

Today we lost a bunny. We called him, "Sparky". I went in to check and he was in the nest, already dead. He wasn't one who had been escaping. I think he might have been number 4 to have been born, he was weak from the start, and he just died in the nest. It's so heart breaking. I removed him, and Neddy keeps looking like she's trying to find him.

His body was so tiny and so perfect. We buried him and I cried. Zoe kept looking at him and saying, "aw cute. Aw sleeping". :(

We had tried so hard to patch up the gaps in the cage, with cardboard and pillowcases and hay. But these feisty baby bunnies kept finding a way out. I hadn't wanted to relocate the bunnies because I didn't want to spook the mother, but we finally decided it was the least of two evils.

So we made a transfer. We moved the bedding and mommy's hair, and the nest and the food and water into the cage Daddy had been in (Daddy aka Nicky, had been moved to another room), after cleaning out the cage of course. Then we let Neddy have a sniff around in the new cage before placing the babies in beside her. Then we put the cage in the place her other cage had been in and put the blanket over. I was surprised to see Neddy stood over one of her kittens right away and started nursing him. I had read they only nurse them at dusk and dawn. She doesn't seem as nervous around me at all anymore.

I hope I've done the right thing. I hope they thrive in their new environment and that we don't lose any more.

I think I'm projecting a lot onto these bunnies. I'm projecting my own maternal instincts, and the fact that I've lost a baby to the cruelty of nature. And I'm projecting some sentiments about my children's souls. Rene and I have found a bunch of old friends from our Youth Fellowship and Powerpoint days on facebook, and have found many of them are no longer Christians. There was a guys from Back To The Bible giving statistics on Children who were raised in Church. Apparently 2 out of 10 remain walking with Jesus in adulthood. What a scary statistic. Having my baby die was hard, it hurts. But I know she's in Heaven. If I were to lose my kids souls, that they turned away and ended up eternally seperate from God, I can't stand the thought. I pray fervently for them every day that they'll choose Jesus when they've grown.

I think I feel like I'm desperate to defy statistics and have my kids all grow up in Christ, and I'm depserate to defy the statistic (dunno how reliable it is) that many bunnies lose their whole first litter. So I'm projecting and that's why the baby's death is hurting me so bad. Maybe. I dunno, but it is seriously affecting me.

1 comment:

Di said...

I feel that desperation and sadness too. I wasn't raised in a Christian home. I gave my life to Jesus when I was 20 yrs old. I brought up all four of my children in a Christian home but alas only 1 of them is following Christ now. BUT I believe that the Lord is merciful and full of Grace. I pray for my children all the time. I know they'll come back. They will come back. I hold onto that with every beat of my heart. With every part of who I am. It's a rough world out there. It's hard to keep them completed protected. At some point, we have to learn to "let go" and trust that all those prayers, love and nuturing will pay off. Letting go is the hardest part of being a parent. I still fight it. I still try and pull my kids back and then I'm reminded that they're adults, they need to make choices and in the end I want them to make secure safe choices for themselves... not be forced into being a Christian but choose because they know it's right for them and their souls.