Like, as soon as you get together with the AP girls, make sure to get rid of the disposable diapers in the diaper bag and replace them with the fuzzi bunz. And don't bring the stroller with you - what would everyone think? Make sure to only bring a sling, and keep your child in there as long as possible. Remember to breastfeed each child at least once in front of everyone else and if anyone asks how you are, don't just say "fine", but instead say "fantastic!" with added enthusiasm.
I'm so guilty of it myself. And I secretly feel relieved when I spot a disposable diaper or a non-organic banana from walmart in amongst their belongings.
We're all just trying to do our best. I think we need to admit our failures more often, so others can see that we're not alone in slipping up sometimes. It doesn't mean we should just give up trying, or that we're less of a mother because we didn't do things exactly the way the Sears book said we should.
So in the spirit of encouraging the community of well meaning mothers...I have some confessions of my own. I'm having a hard time right now. I'm sure it's just a phase. A season. As I write this, I am incredibly sleep deprived, which I know severely alters my perception. I'm sure things aren't as difficult as they feel at this moment.
I felt fantastic during my pregnancy with Turtle. I love how balanced I feel when I'm pregnant. I feel in touch with my emotions, I feel feminine and womanly, I feel important and special, and I get fantastic energy boosts with the nesting instinct. My house looked great through most of the pregnancy. And for the first few months afterwards I was riding on the birth high. I had such a great birth experience and such a peaceful baby, and life seemed at an ultimate high.
Maybe what I'm having right now is a let down. Maybe still crazy hormones as I am almost 8 months postpartum. I've never had PPD before, and I sure hope I'm not heading that way this time...
I feel a bit stuck in a rut just now. Maybe over the past 4-5 weeks or so.
My house has been getting messier and messier, especially after I had my teeth pulled and had a week where I got nothing done. It hasn't recovered from that yet.
I'm behind in the homeschooling, especially with Kaya. I mean, she does fine, but I had a schedule for myself and I'm no where near where I want to be with it.
I've spent too many days in my jammies all day.
I've yelled at my kids too much. I've let them watch way more crap on Netflix than I'm at all happy with.
I've started drinking soda again.
I haven't made my own bread in about 3 weeks, since we've been getting our bread from food net.
Rene and I are bickering too much and not making up enough.
I haven't been reading my bible enough.
I need a kick start to get back on track. I need motivation. I'm loving the sunshine and the beautiful weather, but it hasn't been enough to give me the energy I need. I had a super busy weekend, other than a few hours we spend relaxing at my friend's farm in the sunshine, we were pretty much on the go a lot. I got a maximum of 2 hours sleep on Saturday night, had a bit of a crappy day on Sunday, then got little sleep again last night. I'm pretty sure every fluid in our whole house, bottled or bodily, has been spilled today, and every towel has been used up. I've had at least one child mad at me or a sibling at any given moment today. I'm just tired and weary.
And I am the sort of person who goes through phases. I'll jump in to super mom mode again here one of these days (soon...surely?!) and I'll try to compensate for doing poorly before, and then I'll exhaust all my resources again and fall into another slump. It's my flaw, I'm not great with balance. I hope I'm at least doing right by the kids, and not completely ruining them.
Feel free to tell me I don't sound any worse than the next person, and that everyone shares these struggles and I'm actually doing great! *hint*. I do thrive on encouragement. And sleep. Sleep would help too.