Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Home now

Job 1:21 (NIV)

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

I got chills when I read this passage as a teenager, and thought of how faithful it was for Job to say these things, after losing everything - including his children.

I wondered if I'd ever be so strong. I couldn't imagine losing my own kids, and certainly couldn't imagine praising God through such tragedy. I printed this scripture off and hung it on my wall, right over my bed. So I saw it every night and morning. It was powerful to me, and I prayed I'd grow strong roots to stay firm through whatever life would throw at me.

And by the time life started throwing my worst nightmares at me, I knew the verse by heart and the meaning was also rooted in my heart. After losing Heather, I didn't really need to remind myself to praise God. It was native. It was all I had left. I wanted the Earth to just melt away so I could fall into Jesus' arms. He was all I knew, He was my comfort, my peace and my hope. I didn't feel angry at Him, or like He had caused her death - but I felt him hold me and cry with me and promise me her safety with Him in eternity. And it was everything.

My prayer is that the Freeman's will feel God's comfort and peace today and will cling to him. Sweet baby Kayleigh died last night. They had longed to take her home before she passed, she lived 11 months and never made it home, to the room they had prepared for her. Though, ultimately she is home now.

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