I've been dealing with really bad pain in my upper abdomen for 9 days now. It's been very hard to function, especially when Rene isn't home. They did a few tests and have determined that my gallbladder "don't work a hoot" were the surgeon's words. So I will be having surgery on Friday to have it removed.
Firstly, I hate hospitals. I am scared to death thinking about it all. I will be so far out of my comfort zone. My stomach is in knots thinking about it. I had a homebirth to avoid going to hospital. I am a homebody and too much time away from home makes me crazy.
I'm very nervous about the financial implications of this. We are on a preexisting conditions clause with the insurance just now and they know this is a preexisting condition because I was tested last year. So this is going to really make us suffer and I have no idea how we will manage it.
Mostly though, I'm torn up thinking about the time away from the kids. I've to be there for 11.30am on Friday. Rene will be dropping me off. I have to at least spend one night and then it depends on how I am doing. I've hardly been away from Turtle and Zoe for a few hours never mind all night. He is still nursing frequently through the night. I'll need to take a breast pump with me so I don't get mastitis.
I am going to miss them so bad. They are not even allowed to visit me because kids under 14 are not allowed on the patient wards because of risk of swine flu. :(
I so badly want to call the whole thing off. But then the pain strikes up again and I know I can't cope. It's really kicking my butt. And I can't live on narcotics for the rest of my life. As wonderful as they are, it's kind of difficult to stay awake, never mind homeschool when I'm drugged up.
Anyway, wish me luck. I'm sure they'll all cope but I will be so lonely and will miss them so incredibly much. I can't wait to get back home asap. Prayers that it will go well and that I can recover fast to get home soon would be much appreciated.