So instead, I'll talk about vomit. 'Cause you'd all much prefer that.
We had a scary incident at church this morning. Rene and I just got the big girls sent on their merry way to their kids church and we met up with each other in the hall. We had a few minutes left before the service would start so Rene went off to the information desk to ask some technical questions.
He had given Zoe a hard candy on the way back from dropping off Lana. We've both given them to Zoe in the past, but won't do it again!
As soon as Rene was out of vision, Zoe started choking. She was crying, and then the hard inhaling with crying was making her breathe the candy in or something. I started trying to pat her back violently, but it wasn't helping. Scary. I heard her start to make pukey sounds so I scooped her up (with Turtle in the sling) and rushed her in to the bathroom. I accidentally banged a little girl on the head with the door on the way in. She started crying. I apologized like crazy, while I sat Zoe on the sink and tried patting her in all sorts of maneuvers in attempt to dislodge this thing. Then she suddenly spewed the thing out with much force and with much extra stuff.
By this point the little girl was no longer crying, but gawking at Zoe and enjoying the free entertainment. The mommy was telling her daughter she shouldn't stand in front of the door and explaining to her, "they were in a hurry. They had to get in here really quick".
Embarrassing. Zoe was ok. She said, "there it is, candy!" and went to grab it to eat it again! But of course I grabbed it and threw it in the trash! I put Turtle on the floor and started cleaning Zoe and the sink and the mirror and the wall off. Then I got round to cleaning my arm and my hair, after apologizing again to the lady while she washed her child's hands in the freshly wiped but still mightily whiffy sink.
I got out, told a staff member that they might want to give the toilet a wipe down and take out the trash, and then I told Rene all about it. Then I went to the service, sat down next to a stranger and stunk the place out with vomit smell. I couldn't get rid of the stench. I went to the cry room after Turtle attempted a suicidal dive down the auditorium stairs, and I fragranced the stuffy little room with the sweet aroma of my daughter's innards. Until eventually I felt too awkward and I just left. Good thing I can catch the sermons online later.
While I'm on the embarrassing theme, here's an embarrassing photo of my husband. Because he's been a little annoying this weekend and revenge is sweet.